The Sleepiest of Bears

You may think that this is the sleepiest of bears, but you'd be wrong. I am. It may be my jet setting life style or the side effects of Lexapro or the fact that I am so devastatingly bored at the day job I'm actively trying to lose....

But I'm the sleepiest. The sleepiest of bears.

I wonder

Did they decide your heart is where you feel things because it actually hurts when you're sad?

Or does your heart seem to literally hurt when you're sad because we've been taught to associate feelings with the heart....


chicken? egg? beuller?


improv won tonight. Our Comedies - awesome show. Fire and Ice - BLEW my mind. No, Willoughby! - was awesome. I love Mary Cait and I hope I get to play with her so much more. And Aphasia - Jesus Christ. I am in awe of Brett Lyons and Jeff Griggs. They made my dad so happy.

My dad came to see my play and watch my improv.


and did i mention i wrote a play? i did and it's a success. tonight was supposed to be the last night but it got extended. that's really cool.


Jesus Christ my life right now.

It's so easy to exist sometimes and so much fun. And magical.

But also terrifying and precarious.

If I don't stop to think about things, and I stay in moments - it's heaven. But when I think about it all... I start to cry. I'm real real happy and then real real scared.... and then I feel like... maybe it's me.... or... I wish it were because at least I could control it....

And I feel it all in my stupid fucking heart.

Prom Dress Season

Every year
When the snow starts melting
And the days start getting longer
And baby birds start hatching too soon and dying
I think of nothing
But young love
Frightening first sexual encounters
And tulle


Prom Season is upon us, yet again

While I'm no longer a teenager, Jezebel has kept me posted on the doings of teenagers and the release of Seventeen's Prom issue.

It's amazing.




Ah. To be young again.

To smile.

This animal is Bingley. Bingley was the world's greatest dog. Bingley had three best friends during his 12 years on Earth. Elmo, who tried to lose him in the woods once; Oswald, who was his brother for life; and Mr. Bennett, who is looking for him everywhere and very sad that he's gone.

Bingley came home with us because Liz and I cried in the parking lot of a Pet Store. We cried our way into the ownership of a few animals, including Garth who died last year.

Garth was bigger than Bingley at first. Bingley thought he was a cat like Garth for a little while. Then Bingley got bigger than Garth - and Garth was furious.


I cried right away about Bingley. Usually I have to remind myself how to cry when actual things happen. I'm so sad I can barely right.

To make myself laugh, I've been watching old ads.

My brain hurts.

I bought cheeseburger earmuffs

I guess I forgot that I'm not 15.

Sometimes my heart feels like explosions

And sometimes I get nervous

And maybe I'm not a grown up.

It is. It's perfect.

Hyperballad

Scott McGarvey | MySpace Video

A human is a pretty fragile thing to be

We get so tattered by other humans and by ourselves.


It's weird.


Sometimes I wish I were the same human I was when I was 5.

I was so brave and confident and funny.


This song is pretty. But it only exists because there's so much human on human emotional violence.